2004-07-09 - 6:30 p.m.
Pants Full Of Tadpoles
July 9/Friday
The "lower" deck and "garden" now.
The best way to start you day is NOT to hear (then see) the "potential crane guy" and his buddy creeping around your "garage" at QUARTER OF SEVEN! I don't even know what he was doing here since he said it was gonna cost a couple thousand dollars to move the shed, when I have another guy lined up to do it on Monday for less than $500. So I see him skulking around and decide I should get dressed in case he needs to talk to me or the dudes show up. Then I decide "nah, I don't think so" and get back in bed. They leave and I toss and turn but don't really sleep cuz I think every car that drives by is going to be the dudes.
I finally get up at 8ish (awhile after Phil and the kids get in bed with me, making it impossible to even toss and turn), feed the kids, sweep the dog hair, see Sewer Guys skulking about. (It's about time!) Then they leave. I wait til after 9 and call their office. They tell me the guys will be back - they had to go get something. "Ah!" I think, "some sort of fancy equipment with which to find the sewer pipes." The dudes show up around 9:30 (still a bit late but they come all the way from Alton, NH and I like my morning sleep so I'm not really complaining).
. . .
The Sewer Guys come back with their fancy equipment . . . I mean with a DIVINING ROD! So now the truth is out. The York Sewer District is run by witches. Or stupid people who believe in things like divining rods and rabbits feet. Oh, wait, IT WORKS! Maybe it isn't so stupid. Maybe they are witches (warlocks, whatever). He has two wires bent in the shape of an "L" and holds them by the short side with the long sides pointed stright in front of him. As he approaches the place where they said they thought the pipes were the wires turn away from each other to make a straight line across the front of the guy. He does this over and over and it does it in the same place every time. The dudes dig there and lo and behold there IS a sewer pipe there! Which, exciting as it is, is actually a bad thing. The pipe runs right along the place where we need to put a "frost wall". (By "we" I mean JD and the dudes, and by "frost wall" I haven't a clue what I mean. Let's just assume it has something to do with the foundation.)
A much classier version of the fancy equipment used by the Sewer Guys.
I looked up divination and dowsing (I think dowsing is just one form of divination) and heres what it said that made me think it was legit, but then go back to thinking it was witchcraft:
In the 20th century dowsing has been used in archeological and geological work, and by utility companies in locating damaged pipes and cables. The traditional tool of the dowser is a forked rod made of wood. Certain wood such as Hazel, Willow, Ash and Rowan are the best. Many dowsers prefer to work with a pendulum on a string. The dowser attunes themself to what is being sought usually through visualization.
I leave it up to you to decide if it is normal or witchery, while I go to the Sewer District to pay the Impact Fee.
. . .
So, as I write this I am serenaded by the beautiful melodious sound of a JACKHAMMER under the kitchen. They are taking out the slab under the "bump out" part of the kitchen (it was added on with just footings and a slab, no foundation). They seem to think that they can do this while keeping the kitchen intact. I'm not so sure about that, so I plan on moving some of the kitchen stuff out later today, just in case.
JV: "Did you pour this slab?" Phil: "No." JV: "Good. Cuz if you did I was gonna have to kick your ass."
In the spirit of this jackhammery day I thought I would share some lyrics with you:
John was a metal-headed monster
he caught a piece of the earth
and sometimes he flew off the handle
and that was his handle
Jack Hammer
c'mon, c'mon good buddy he's Jack Hammer
Jonathan, Jonathan H-A-M-M-E-R
He had a fist full of dirt
had a shirt
he had boots
they were black
his fist came so close she had a wind attack
he's Jack Hammer
he's Jack Hammer
Mouth like a power saw
head like a radio
hand like a bear paw
pants full of tadpoles
he's Jack Hammer
he's Jack Hammer
from Jack Hammer by The Odds
I've never heard this song, but now I can't wait to hear it. I'm curious as to how this "wind attack" manifested itself. Was she gassy? The "pants full of tadpoles" line really gets me! (I know, I know, yesterday's song would have been more appropriate today - the pipeline laying and all. Oh well.)
. . .
So, it's lunchtime and we've already had a bit of a disaster. The dudes cracked the sewer line. I guess it doesn't REALLY matter cuz they were gonna have to move it anyway for the "frost wall." But when they cracked it they saw that it's made of asbestos. Sah-weet! Well, I am very lucky that the dudes aren't babies about life endangering things like asbestos and the potential harm from jackhammering without ear or eye protection. They are surprised that the Sewer Guys are making/letting them move the pipe since they aren't licensed to do that in Maine (just in NH), but the Sewer Guys probably don't want to play in the asbestos tainted raw sewage puddle that is my backyard. Oh well, their loss.
. . .
Speak of the devil! They are back! Who? The Sewer Guys, of course! I knew they couldn't stay away from our new swimming pool! Oh, they aren't staying, they just came to tell the dudes how to do their job, and apparently they inquired multiple times as to whether I had paid the Impact Frigging Fee yet. HA! I did! But wasn't that nice of them to ask?
. . .
Ahhh. The pipe is fixed and now Mrs. Libby can flush. The pipe was on our property but it was her sewage that flowed through it.
The dudes have gone home and all is "well" for the weekend.
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